How to make friends when moving to a new place

Making friends when moving to a new place can be a daunting prospect. Leaving all your loved ones behind and starting again especially when you don’t know anyone can be the worst thing about moving somewhere. I am definitely no expert on the making friend’s thing, and it took me ages to feel comfortable when I moved to Wellington especially as I am an introvert at heart so it’s not always easy to put myself out there with new people.

It was important to me to write this post to share what I know and what I have learned because one of the most common blog post requests I get is about how to make friends when moving to a new place. So, for what it’s worth, this is what I would say are the key things that you can do to try and make friends when moving to a new place:

1. Always say yes

I learnt this one from a friend I met here in Welly, and it didn’t occur to me until she said it; the importance of saying yes, particularly at first when you move somewhere new is HUGE!

If at first, you say yes to everything you get invited to then the invites will keep rolling in and you can be more selective later on. If you start by saying no to everything then it’s likely that people won’t keep on inviting you, as no one likes being turned down again and again do they.

Alsoooo, the person who told me this (Shout out Mia) has loads of friends so I am going to vouch for this working wonders!

making friends when moving somewhere new

2. Don’t be afraid to give out your number/Facebook

You know when you meet someone new, at a party or through a friend and you really get along with them and then you are leaving and there is an awkward moment, where you know that if you don’t ask them to swap numbers then you will never see them again? Well, be brave and ALWAYS swap numbers at that moment. Don’t be afraid to ask for Facebook profile and add each other, that way you can start a friendship, as cheesy as it feels, if you don’t do the swapping bit, that is a door closed!

3. Do the things you love

This is a tried and tested way to meet people that you click with – do the things you love! If you are doing the hobbies you enjoy, whether its making ceramics, playing squash, climbing or just going clubbing, you are bound to meet people who want to hang with you and do the same stuff as you!

And the proof is in the pudding – Lucas and I met our closest friends in Wellington when we were overnight tramping to a backcountry hut. It’s a very New Zealand way to meet people but it’s also just because we were all enjoying ourselves doing what we love.

4. Hit up some people on Instagram

This can sound a bit stalkerish and weird but Insta and social media can actually be quite a good tool for meeting people. I met a friend as I found her profile somehow and saw she ran a girl’s adventure group so asked her when she was next running something and went along. I could see from her profile that she was the kind of person I would get along with and I was right.

I also recently noticed someone who was posting in Vic Deals (a Wellington Facebook group) looking for a place to live and that they had loads of mutual friends, so I sent a message to her too. Obviously, you don’t want to go to crazy messaging loads of people you don’t know online but it can be a great tool every now and again!

5. Join some courses

It sounds a little bit old hat but taking part in a course and learning a new skill can be a great way of meeting new people. Its especially good because people are often going there alone and looking for someone to make friends with. Also, if you are both taking the same course, you are likely to be similar minded.

6. Volunteer

Offering your time to a cause can be another way to meet some great people. I spent time volunteering at the Soup Kitchen in Wellington and met some really lovely people there. It’s a good way to offer your time to a good cause but also have the potential benefit of new friends. Volunteer organisations often put on evenings and events for volunteers too.

7. Go out!

This probably seems a bit ridiculous, but when you are out on the town and have had a few beers it becomes so much easier to meet people. Of course, you need people to go out with to begin with but grab a friend and go out for some beers. Basically, don’t rule out a big night out somewhere decent as a good way to meet some new people!

Go out for drinks after work

Going out for drinks after work is a great way to turn your colleagues into friends. If there is no one in your office organising them, be the one to do it, everyone always wants an excuse to do something social as well as/instead of work!

Be patient

This is the hardest tip I have, but BE PATIENT with making friends – it takes a long time to make good friends and great friendships can’t be forged in a day. Give it some time, try not to feel too lonely and know that you will have friends eventually it just needs time. Trust me!

Note: I haven’t added meetups or friend-tinder or any of those types of apps to this list as this is not something I have tried, so I don’t know if I should recommend them. People say they are good though so they are worth mentioning.